A turning point?

I admit my posts are always so depressing. Work and image issues have taken a toll on my mental well-being, feeling so horrible lately. No longer ahead of my work and barely able to keep up in class. My face just feels so dry and itchy and red. I feel like giving up.

Why I should not feel this way.

  1. Its normal to feel like this, in the end you will still turn out fine.
  2. Your face will only get better.
  3.  Only through separation will it get better.
  4. I can only work harder.

The change in my life

It’s Friday. 7 days of study break has almost passed. Here’s what I did:

Here’s what I did:

I can probably get a B+ at least for Stats, do i deserve an A? Did a little financial accounting, i am somewhat there but work still has to be done. As for bgs, i feel that there is nothing concrete to study for and i am yet to start on TWC.

Really need to learn to chill and relax. Studies are not everything. I have a serious lack of social life as well and I have to take care of my body better.

How hard do I want it? Perhaps I have nothing to look forward too.

Too hard on myself?

I should not listen to the voices in my head anymore. They are not true at all.

It started with telling people i am going to fail for my exams, and i ended up aceing it. Then it went on to deflecting praises that my work is good or that I am intelligent.

I am intelligent, it’s just that I am not interested but i will be soon.

I can do great things, it just my mind telling me no.

I will do something about my hair.

I will change my lifestyle.

This semester has been great for me so far. I may not have have perfected it but I have certainly learnt a lot along the way.

My typical day during study break:

Reveille 0630, Breakfast / Meditation 0630 – 0800 Subject 1 0800-1000 Subject 2 1030 – 1230 Lunch / Break 1230 – 1330 Subject 3 1400 – 1600 Subject 4 1630 – 1830 Dinner / Break 1830 – 1930 Subject 5 2000-2330 Sleep 0000

Total hours spent studying  ~ 11.5 Hours

Break / Meal times ~ 4 hours


time flies

7 days to passing out as a 3SG, i wonder if i am ready for it. Somehow i wish i would stay as a cadet forever, free from heavy responsibilities and having to take man under me. However, some part of me is still quite excited to experience the life of being a full-fledged section commander. The experience of having appointments given during cadet days will definitely be much more different than actual ones. Looking forward to taking charge of my section. Quite keen as well to discover and explore my own abilities, how i will perform handling actual pioneers ( a.k.a troopers but in combat engineer terms).

NS life aside, trying hard to get myself running again. Recently bought a $40 sportsband (overpriced!!!) for my phone which gave me a little dose of motivation to start to run often again. Apart from that, just ran a 5km at the Army Half-Marathon and was quite surprised i could still manage a 22min 5k. Hopefully i could keep up with the routine.